Bogan’s Money Making Secrets
Chapter 08 of 10

Crypto Without The Cape

What this Bogan actually does, what it costs when it goes wrong, and the tax bill nobody warns you about.

Not financial advice. Nothing in this chapter or the next is financial product advice. I’m not a licensed adviser and I don’t know your situation, your debts or your goals. This is a description of what this Bogan does and what it has cost me when I got it wrong. Crypto is volatile and you can lose the lot. Only ever put in money you can genuinely afford to lose, and talk to a licensed adviser before making real decisions.

8.1 Why it’s in this book at all

Crypto is a way to save and grow money that isn’t under the mattress and isn’t in a savings account losing to inflation. It’s also the most volatile thing most people will ever hold.

Both of those are true at once. Anyone telling you only the first half is selling you something.

Where crypto goes in your order of operations

Last. Behind: money to eat, rent paid, high-interest debt cleared, and three months of expenses in a boring savings account.

If you’re reading this because you’re broke, this chapter is not your answer. Go back to Chapter 3, get cash in, get stable. Crypto with rent money is gambling with extra steps, and I’ve watched it wreck people.

8.2 Buying it in Australia

Use an exchange registered with AUSTRAC as a Digital Currency Exchange. That registration is the baseline — no registration, no money. You can check the register yourself on the AUSTRAC website, and you should.

ExchangeNotes
Binance Australia (InvestbyBit Pty Ltd)Biggest range, lowest fees. AUSTRAC-registered. AUD PayID and bank transfers were restored in January 2026 after a period without them
CoinbaseEasiest for beginners, higher fees. Publicly listed company
Independent ReserveAustralian, long-running, strong compliance record
CoinSpotAustralian, very easy to use, wide coin selection, fees on the higher side
SwyftxAustralian, good interface and support
Two things that changed recently

The previous edition said “the two exchanges we recommend” and then only named one. That was sloppy of me. Pick two from the table above — one big global for range, one Australian for easy AUD in and out.

8.3 Not your keys, not your coins

Exchanges get hacked. Exchanges collapse. Exchanges freeze withdrawals. It has happened to some of the biggest names in the industry, and people who thought their money was safe found out it wasn’t.

A hardware wallet is the safest place to keep crypto you’re not actively trading. I use a Ledger Nano X for anything meaningful. Trezor is the other main one. Keep small trading amounts on the exchange; keep the serious money off it.

The recovery phrase — read this twice

The old edition said wallets are “secured with a password”. That undersells it badly, and the gap is where people lose everything.

What actually protects your crypto is the recovery phrase — 12 or 24 words handed to you when you set the wallet up. That phrase is your money. Anyone who reads it can take everything, from anywhere in the world, instantly and irreversibly. There is no bank to ring. There is no chargeback.

8.4 Earning interest on it

Exchanges offer products that pay a yield on crypto you deposit — Binance Earn and similar. Yes, you can make interest on your crypto.

Understand what you’re doing, though: you’re lending your coins to a company, and the yield is the fee they pay for the risk. It is not a bank deposit. There’s no government guarantee behind it, and platforms offering the highest yields have been exactly the ones that blew up historically.

Rough rule

Anything paying single digits from a major registered exchange is a reasonable product. Anything paying 20% or more is telling you where the risk is. If you can’t explain where the yield comes from, you are the yield.

8.5 The tax bill nobody mentions

The ATO knows

The ATO receives data directly from Australian exchanges and matches it to your tax file number. “They won’t find out” is not a strategy — this is one of their most actively targeted areas.

Do this from day one

  1. Connect a tracker — Koinly, CoinTracking or CryptoTaxCalculator — to every exchange and wallet the day you open it.
  2. Reconstructing three years of trades later costs more in accountant time than the tracker costs for a decade.
  3. Set aside a slice of every realised gain for tax, the same way you did with business income in Chapter 1.

8.6 How this Bogan actually plays it

Poida says

I keep large amounts on the Ledger, small amounts on the exchange for trading, and I write down what I own and why. If I can’t explain in one sentence why I own something, I shouldn’t own it.

We’re in for crazy times. You will see 30% pullbacks — plural, and they feel a lot worse when it’s your money and not a chart in a book. But over the years ahead I reckon fellow Bogans who hold steady and keep learning will turn savings into life-changing money.

The ones who blow up are the ones using leverage, chasing whatever’s pumping on socials this week, and buying tokens off a bloke in the DMs. Don’t be that Bogan.

Crypto scams, specifically

Report to Scamwatch and check names against ASIC Moneysmart’s warning list before you send a cent.

This market changes constantly, which is exactly why we keep the conversation going at the School of Bogans rather than pretending a book stays current forever.